Picture it. A couple of years ago my 9-year-old sassy daughter has a best friend who is named ‘Daniel’. Ummm…. HIGH ALERT my husbands “Dad- Dar” screams….
The first time I met this young man, he shook my hand, appropriately while he introduced himself and called me Ms. Anderson and waited for me to tell him to call me Sarah. Yeah. That’s right, the kid walks on water now with me and I could not think higher of him or his parents. A simple handshake screams the manners you have taught your children. And if not, well, you might be raising an asshole.
No one wants to say this out loud, but a handshake is a significant social exchange which should not be underrated. It offers a first impression often that results in long standing opinions and impressions- so LET’S TEACH OUR KIDS HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL!
A Lame Handshake Equals A Lame Kid
That’s right, please practice with your kids as it’ll set them up for respect and success. Basic Hand shaking etiquette:
- First make eye contact.
- Be sure to have a slight smile on your face.
- Extend your right hand and offer a firm (NOT too firm!) shake-
- The shake should last 3-6 seconds
- Eye contact the entire time.
This may sound common sense, however enter the young professional world and you quickly realize it is not. It’s too bad for the young professional with a gleaming resume or CV, even for the teenager meeting friends/a partner’s parents for the first time.
Let’s be crystal clear, a handshake is conveying the message you want it to- intentionally or not, which is why it’s important to teach your children this. Otherwise all the schooling, lessons, skills, abilities or passions fly out the window as they as discounted as your kid just sent the message of a dead fish.
Types of Handshakes
There is even Hand Shake “TYPES” Now. Wow. I’m not alone. I diva posted 10 common ones which include:
- Sweaty palms
- Dead Fish
- Brush Off
- The Two-Handed Shake
- The Controller
- The Finger Vice
- The Bone Crusher
- The Lobster Claw
- The Top Handed Shake
- The Pusher
Full descriptions of the definitions are located here:
Declaring war on limp fish, bone crusher, politician and other types of handshakes, Chevrolet UK commissioned a study to determine the perfect handshake. After all, there’s nothing more important to closing the deal in selling cars than the handshake:
Professor Geoffrey Beattie, who worked on the project for Chevrolet, said: “The human handshake is one of the most crucial elements of impression formation and is used as a source of information for making a judgement about another person.
“The rules for men and women are the same: right hand, a complete grip and a firm squeeze (but not too strong) in a mid-point position between yourself and the other person, a cool and dry palm, approximately three shakes, with a medium level of vigour, held for no longer than two to three seconds, with eye contact kept throughout and a good natural smile with a slow offset with, of course, an appropriate accompanying verbal statement, make up the basic constituent parts for the perfect handshake.”
The Handshake Code
Just so you know this is very serious business, Professor Beattie of the University of Manchester codified the perfect handshake into mathematical formula:
(e) is eye contact (1=none; 5=direct) 5; (ve) is verbal greeting (1=totally inappropriate; 5=totally appropriate) 5; (d) is Duchenne smile – smiling in eyes and mouth, plus symmetry on both sides of face, and slower offset (1=totally non-Duchenne smile (false smile); 5=totally Duchenne) 5; (cg) completeness of grip (1=very incomplete; 5=full) 5; (dr) is dryness of hand (1=damp; 5=dry) 4; (s) is strength (1= weak; 5=strong) 3; (p) is position of hand (1=back towards own body; 5=other person’s bodily zone) 3; (vi) is vigour (1=too low/too high; 5=mid) 3; (t) is temperature of hands (1=too cold/too hot; 5=mid) 3; (te) is texture of hands (5=mid; 1=too rough/too smooth) 3; (c) is control (1=low; 5=high) 3; (du) is duration (1= brief; 5=long) 3.
Wrapping It Up
Lastly, some other resources to consider-
This teacher has her kindergartners shake hands every morning — it’s a lesson in success
How to Teach a Child to Greet People Properly
Offering a virtual appropriate handshake to all of you,